Chatter: Pope Benedict speaks

NEED TO KNOW

He speaks. Pope Benedict XVI has given his first public address since unexpectedly announcing his imminent resignation. Amid cheers and applause, the 85-year-old pontiff told his weekly audience at the Vatican he was retiring "for the good of the church." Benedict thanked his flock for their "love and prayer" and asked that they continue to pray for his successor – whoever he may be.

But before it comes to that, Papa Ratz fans will get one more chance to see him celebrate mass: he'll hold an Ash Wednesday special later today, most likely the final public mass of his papacy.

President Barack Obama's top three priorities? The economy, the economy, and the economy. That's per his 2013 State of the Union Address, anyway, which was focused on job creation and "smarter" government investment in core growth sectors. Gun control, immigration reform, North Korea's nukes and the pull-out from Afghanistan also got shout-outs.

The Republican Party, naturally, didn't like it – and for the first time, they told us so in Spanish. As for everyone else… well, we were too busy looking at Joe Biden's freaky eyeball. Can you blame us?

WANT TO KNOW

The hunt is over. Police in southern California have recovered what they believe to be the body of Christopher Dorner, the embittered ex-cop who's thought to have shot dead at least three people and threatened to kill more. We won't know for sure that it's him until forensic results are in: the remains were discovered badly burned, amid the rubble of the cabin where Dorner is thought to have been hiding.

If it is him, it'll mean relief for the 50 or so families under police protection after receiving Dorner's threats – though no less tragedy for his victims, the last of whom was a police officer killed in a shoot-out just before Dorner's hiding place went up in flames.

The wrangling continues in Europe as governments attempt to rein in panic over mislabelled horsemeat. (That's enough horse puns.) European Union agriculture ministers will hold an emergency summit in Brussels today, as they look for ways to reassure consumers that they're not at risk of eating any animals they didn't want to.

How about, er, telling us where the filly filets came from? Turns out that's no easy task, given the bewildering complexity of the meat supply chain. And suspect origins aren't limited to Europe. Before you next tuck into a quarterpounder, you might want to think about how well you really know your burger.

STRANGE BUT TRUE

Zombies attack Montana! … Just kidding. Authorities had to reassure alarmed residents yesterday, after a hacker gained access to Montana's KRTV emergency alert system and informed viewers that the dead were living, hungry, and here.

KRTV was quick to debunk to claim, stemming any initial panic before there was a run on machete sales. But that wasn't enough to convince everyone: at least four calls were made to local police to determine whether or not the slobbering horde was actually on the prowl. Good one.