Aging moms choose daughters over husbands, study suggests

Ageing women tend to shift their focus away from their partner to their adult daughters, especially as the daughters begin to have children, new research suggests.

The study published in the journal Scientific Reports was based on an analysis of nearly 2 billion cell phone calls and almost half a billion text messages,

According to the LA Times, it found that while men tended to maintain their wives as their closest confidant throughout their adult lives, a woman's urge to ensure the survival of their genes might lead to a shift in her intimate relationships.

Physicist Vasyl Palchykov of the Aalto University School of Science in Finland, and colleagues from Oxford University in England and Northeastern University in Boston, found that in early adulthood, men and women tended to focus most of their attention on a member of the opposite sex — presumably their romantic partner.

Women focused on significant others at the age of 18, about four years earlier than men, the intensity of the relationship peaked earlier too — at age 27, as opposed to age 32 for men — and lasted for about 14 years, twice as long as for men.

"Females invest more heavily in opposite-sex relationships," Palchykov said.

However, in their 40s, women's most important relationship began to shift away from the same-aged male to a female about 25 years or so younger — presumably, her adult daughter, the phone records indicated.

The strength of this relationship grew over the next 15 years or so — possibly reflecting the gradual onset of grandchildren — and peaked about age 60.

"No. 1 is very easy to distinguish," Palchykov reportedly said.

Men, at least in their cell phone communication, stuck with a female best friend, according to the study, and called their sons and daughters equally.

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ABC News cited Beverly Hills psychoanalyst Fran Walfish as saying that when the lives of mothers and daughters become too intertwined it could signal trouble in the husband-wife relationship.

“I am wondering if the women who were looked at in this study, they turn to their daughter because the relationships and communication with their husbands had decreased and fallen off track as they aged."

According to Toronto.com, Palchykov warned that the research was under the assumption that mobile phone conversations reflected the most important relationships and kinds of relationships between people.

“Maybe in this case the daughters need advice from their mothers,” said Palchykov. He said the results speak to the importance of the relationship between the two generations.

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