British minister says income inequality is like a ‘fun upstairs-downstairs type thing’

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The charity, Oxfam, released a study last week revealing that five of Britain’s wealthiest families own more wealth than 20 percent of the country’s poorest. “It’s like a fun upstairs, downstairs type deal,” said British minister Gareth Clarke, in response to the findings. “It just goes to show, no matter what your station in life, everyone has their own little dramas.”

“Sometimes I think I’m more of a Lord Grantham,” he said, when asked about what measures might be taken to decrease the growing gap between rich and poor, such as raising the minimum wage. “But sometimes I think I’m more of fatherly type, like Mr. Carson. Who am I kidding? I’m totally a Grantham!”

Oxfam finds that the incomes of the UK’s wealthiest have grown nearly four times faster than those of 90 percent of the least well off, a sign of “economic failure,” according to the study. “Yes, well,” said Clarke, looking momentarily concerned. “I wonder what Mrs. Patmore would say to that,” he continued, lighting up again. “Everyone needs a Mrs. Patmore in their life. They sure are a bawdy lot, the poor!”