US Marine: This is why I returned to Vietnam to stay

(Editors Note: Bill Erwin, a Vietnam vet, wrote this letter to a fellow Marine to explain his reasons for going back to Vietnam — and staying.)

Dear Tim,

Thanks for the response. It’s good to hear that someone is listening. I will try to answer your questions the best I can.

First off, I’ve been coming back to Vietnam for more than 20 years now and have lived here full time for over seven now. I told a journalist a few days ago, “I feel like Vietnam is my home but it is not my country.”

I feel good living here. The people are wonderful for the most part and I have never felt threatened in all the time I have spent over here. I don’t agree with all their politics but I can’t say I agree with American politics much either.

It’s not my job to dispute how to run this country. I tried that 40 years ago and we all know how successful that was. Sure the people here complain about the government, it’s corruption, its ability to do what’s in the power men’s best interest. How is that different than what I see in the US?

But the big difference is the people here are happy. They are experiencing the hope of opportunity for a better life to a higher degree than they have experienced in centuries. Is the government here threatening? No, anyway it isn’t as long as you don’t threaten it. I see the same kind of energy here that rolled through the US in the 50's. If you’ve got the balls and the imagination, there is almost unlimited opportunity.

As for being a veteran living here, I’m not alone. I know at least 15 vets living here in Da Nang for at least part of the year every year and I am sure there are many more that I do not know. We all came back for different reasons but curiosity runs deep in the impetus that got us to make the leap.

For me, I guess it was to get in touch with a part of my life that I never understood. Some say that I changed in Vietnam. I say I was born here. My entire belief system was shaped here.

Take a look at yourself, how much of who you are is the result of your time in Vietnam? I knew nothing of this country or the people when I came here the first time yet I was willing to destroy and kill to show them they were wrong. What was that all about? But ya know that’s not even part of the program over here anymore.

I think less about the war now that I‘ve lived here than I did 10 years ago. Getting to know the people, even the very people who I fought against, has made me realize that we are all very much the same. We love our families, our heritage, our country (even though we might not like these things all the time).

And yes, I am still an American citizen. I always will be an American. I believe strongly in the principles on which our country was founded. I worry, however, that these principles have become eroded, leaving greed and self-serving arrogance to fill the void.

In answer to your inquiry about the old adversaries, I’ve met quite a few and never met one who didn’t treat me with respect. But let me assure you, they can bullshit with the best of us.

For the most part, they think highly of the American serviceman, especially Marines. I am constantly surprised by the Northern fighter’s acceptance of me. We were warriors, pawns in a struggle that required us to do things that we were told to do. For me, it was never a mission of hate. The ‘enemy’ I have met say basically the same thing; they didn’t hate us.

Even though for most us, our time in the war was for one, sometimes two and even three years. For them it lasted for over 30 years and it was their homes and families that were stuck in the middle. Many of them never knew of life without war. But even so, I believe that for them the war is over now. It’s time to move on.

I wish more Americans felt that way.

Semper Fidelis.

Bill Ervin
Delta Company 1/3, 3rd Marine Division
Vietnam 1969