For Latvian animator Signe Baumane, escaping her often morbid thoughts is nearly impossible: “My life in a nutshell is thoughts about sex every nine seconds and being depressed every 12 seconds.”
But Baumane is an artist, and she has a keen sense of humor. So she did what came naturally: She began writing a film, the now-Oscar-nominated "Rocks in my Pockets," about her long battle with mental illness.
Like many who suffer from the illness, depression is a hereditary issue for Baumane. So to find the origins of her “crazy thoughts,” she went straight to the source. The film explores Baumane’s family history through the stories of five of generations of women. The strongest family tie is their shared “quest for sanity.”
oembed://https%3A//www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D6a9Q3D6OPDs%23t%3D12
600 people attended the Latvian premiere of “Rocks in my Pockets," and 60 of them were Baumane’s relatives. Their reactions were mixed.
The older generations, on the other hand, were angry Baumane would air her family’s dirty laundry. They claimed the younger family members would struggle to get married as a result of the film. For those members of her family, Baumane says, it’s easier to ignore the issue than admit it might be a genetic problem.
“If you cover something up, if you push it under the bed, it doesn’t exist," she says. "If I look at it that way, it’s not genetic. And I think that’s why these secrets get pushed under the bed.”
Living in the former Soviet Union, Baumane’s options were limited when it came to treating her depression. She recalls her meetings with her therapist, who herself abused alcohol and psychiatric drugs.
“The therapist, she decided what was my treatment, what was my diagnosis, and she checked me into a mental hospital, without really investigating deeper if I really had to go to mental hospital,” Baumane says.
Baumane still lives with depression to this day. At the end of the film, Baumane provides a particularly striking image to convey her ongoing struggle: an animated likeness of her, pushing a boulder.
“I do remember the pink, green and yellow pills my Latvian doctor insisted I take," she says in a voiceover. "I do not take those pills. They would dull my pain, make it more endurable. The soft pillow of pills would enwrap my existence and distort the perspective … that I have to walk the thin line between sanity and insanity.”
But not all the film’s images are so dark. Baumane wants to assure audiences that “Rocks in my Pockets” is a surreally funny film about depression.
“Animation can show something that you cannot see. In ‘Rocks in my Pockets,’ I can actually show depression,” Baumane explains. “When you communicate something in an image, it becomes less scary. You can actually poke a finger at it and laugh. And for me, laughter is the best medicine … especially if you can share the laughter.”
We’d love to hear your thoughts on The World. Please take our 5-min. survey.