The Ballad of Lady Gaga

The World

From the suits of raw meat to the Kermit-the-frog head coat, Lady Gaga’s performance-art wardrobe might be even better known than her pop hits. Studio 360’s resident troubadour, Scott Blaszak, just wanted a date with Gaga. But then it got complicated.
“The Ballad of Lady Gaga” Lyrics
I was out in the Village one dayAnd a pretty little blonde crossed my wayI noticed something up with her clothesI tipped my hat, she thumbed her noseSaid, What’s your name?She said, They call me GagaGot up my nerve, took her for a drinkGirl showed up looking like a circus freakA cocktail dress of sawdust and grease They threw her out for disrupting the peaceStrange galStill I kind of liked her thoughA fluke, I figured, trying to make senseBut on date two she wore an electric fenceJust what’s your deal, I said with a stareShe said, Oh I don’t explain what I wearThat night I made it to second baseGot third-degree burnsNow I been with all kind of galFrom Dakota Badlands to the Appalachian TrailI ain’t picky but it’s hard to swallow When your date looks like the Guggenheim BilbaoOver the next month she wore a full-body castSteering unit of a BuickVinyl siding Jacket made of some kind of fishSatellite dishRice dish Hat made out of false teethFake fur made out of real teethand a sundress made out of things I can’t mention on the radio That should have been a red flag right thereWedding bells and phony smiles Next thing I know I’m at the end of an aisleThe organ moaned, the crowd it gasped At my bride-to-be wearing the corpse of Johnny Cash I took off running, Gaga chasingTill Johnny’s head got caught in the gazeboSo I settled down with Suzie ClareWhen she wants attention, she puts a bow in her hairGaga, I hope you’re not too soreIt wasn’t you, it was all that stuff you wore.I miss you, I do Like to give it another go butYou dress like there’s something wrong in your head and it just creeps me out.
  
See the object of Scott Blaszak’s affection in “Born This Way”

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