‘How to work a fax machine’: Kim Jong Un’s search history leaked

GlobalPost

This is satire, mostly. Click here for more GlobalPost satire.

Kim Jong Un, the boy leader of North Korea, is celebrating his birthday this week with a welcome visit from friend Dennis Rodman and several other former NBA stars. Most unwelcome for the despot, however, is news that his web search history has been leaked to the press. Here's a look:

Kim Jong Un great hair

Kim Jong Un dapper fellow

World leader with best style and most easygoing manner

How to work fax machine

Fax machine, blinking light, what to do

Fax machine, blinking light, trying to destroy me?

How to usurp fax machine

Can a shark read your mind

Uncle problems

Appropriate responses to uncle problems

Windows 95 Solitaire, how to beat

Windows 95 Solitaire, bouncing cards, how to destroy

Elves real or not

Elves tying your shoelaces together at night

Powerful paperweights

Powerful paperweight to send the right message

Powerful paperweight to slam down on desk at correct moment

Best joke to tell at state dinner

Best joke to tell to crush all other jokes and frighten opposition

Elves tying shoelaces together at night, making you fall down stairs, bomb South Korea?

Basketball

How to become ruler of basketball

Dennis Rodman cool dude

Dennis Rodman relevant cultural figure of the west

Dennis Rodman lip ring the best idea

How to tame rogue cowlick

How to reason with cowlick

Cowlick problems

Appropriate responses to cowlick problem

Will you support The World today?

The story you just read is not locked behind a paywall because listeners and readers like you generously support our nonprofit newsroom. If you’ve been thinking about making a donation, this is the best time to do it. Your support will get our fundraiser off to a solid start and help keep our newsroom on strong footing. If you believe in our work, will you give today? We need your help now more than ever!