Five Things You Had to See Online This Week

This week in “Thanks, Internet” — subverting the Super Bowl, a magic mushroom mic, and Bernie Sanders the comedianwin the internet this week.

1.Chris Pratt is Awesome

Feels good to be back in action on Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2!!! I can’t even tell you how excited I am. Ok I’ll try. I’m ecstatic. I’m bursting with joy. I’m overwhelmed by feelings of enthusiasm, joy, gratitude, conviviality, camaraderie, elation, exhilaration. I just used an online thesaurus for these words. I suggest trying that. That way instead of saying “I’m very excited” say, “I’m exhilarated.” Never too late to learn words. The pen is mightier than the sword. I never got that. I could whoop someone’s ass if I had a sword and they only had a pen. WAIT!!! Now I get it. Cause you could use a giant pen with a dagger on one end? And a gun on the other end? No? Whatever. Point is… Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. Is going to be the greatest spectacle film of all time. This is not…. bear with me… using online thesaurus….. Hyperbole! This is not hyperbole!

A photo posted by chris pratt (@prattprattpratt) on Feb 2, 2016 at 11:18am PST

Or at least his Instagramfeed is. Last week, Pratt posted an incredibly genuine message about his love and gratitude for what he gets to do after having been up and working for 77 hoursstraight (that’s more than three days, if you’re counting.) This week,Pratt (and his thesaurus) are back to let the world know how really extremely incredibly excited he is about the next “Guardians of the Galaxy” movie — though the post also indicates that he may still be severely sleep deprived.

2. How Do You Score Tickets tothe Superb Owl?

The NFL is really excited to be hosting the Super Bowl 50 in San Francisco (well, about 45miles outside of San Francisco in Santa Clara), but the people of San Francisco don’t share the same enthusiasm. What they are enthusiastic about, however, is rearranging the decals on the giant Super Bowl 50 installations that have been planted all over their city. Because, let’s be honest, the Superb Owl sounds like way more fun than 4 hours of Peyton Manning.

3.Bernie Sanders: Radical, Frontrunner…Comedian?

SNL should just get Bernie Sanders to play Bernie Sanders.

4.The Dangers of Reporting on ‘Shrooms

The moment when the reporter begins speaking into the giant mushroom instead of his microphone is pretty great. But the moment when the reporterrealizes that he’s speaking into the giant mushroom is absolutely amazing.

5. You Still Have to Pay Reparations

It’s Black History Month. Get the message out any way you can.

(Thanks, Sean!)