Putin and Xi Jinping spend a couple of nights in Rodanthe

GlobalPost

This is satire, mostly. For more GlobalPost satire, click here.

After a historic trade agreement, which came to pass last week after a decade of negotiating, Vladimir Putin and Chinese leader Xi Jinping decided to blow of their responsibilities and celebrate with a few nights in Rodanthe, a wind-beaten beach community in North Carolina, also the setting of a 2008 movie starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane, “Nights in Rodanthe.”

“We are both fans of this movie,” said Putin. “So we said, ‘Why not?’” The trade agreement would see 38 billion cubic meters of gas exported from Russia to China over thirty years, and signals the formation of what could be a new economic super power. “Why not get started off on the right foot,” said Jinping, “with some conch fritters and margaritas and bric-a-brac local art for my friends and family back home?”

The two world leaders were seen strolling down a picturesquely ragged pier, staring reflectively at the ocean, and generally having a great time. Although, a witness reported seeing Putin slowly crush a sand dollar in his fist while waiting impatiently for Jinping to finish poking around a gift shop.

Still, the Russian dictator tells a different story: “Fun in sun and plentiful shells. What could be better,” said Putin, “for a couple of salt dogs like us?”

Will you support The World?

The story you just read is not locked behind a paywall because listeners and readers like you generously support our nonprofit newsroom. Now more than ever, we need your help to support our global reporting work and power the future of The World. Can we count on you?