TO GO WITH Oly-2012-PRK,FEATURE
(FILES) This file photo taken on April 15, 2012 shows North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un saluting as he watches a military parade to mark 100 years since the birth of the country’s founder and his grandfather, Kim Il-Sung, in Pyongyang. He lacks the toned physique of an Olympian but “dear respected” leader Kim Jong-Un will be the inspiration when North Korea’s athletes go for gold at the London Olympics. North Korea are aiming for a record number of medals in London in what would be a timely boost for Kim, the new face of the country’s ruling dynasty and its all-pervasive personality cult. AFP PHOTO / FILES / Ed Jones (Photo credit should read Ed Jones/AFP/GettyImages)
Editor's note: This is satire, mostly.
The Korean Central News Agency reported that North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un lethargically slid off his exercise ball on Tuesday, ending up on the floor, where he just stared at the ceiling for a while.
According to the report, after a tough month in which tensions with South Korea escalated, and the leader faced international criticism for official dispatches that called South Korean president Park Geun-hye and Barack Obama a “crafty prostitute” and “a dirty fellow,” respectively, the leader just wanted to relax with some core-strengthening crunches.
“It seemed as if he was going to get started,” said a witness, an aide who was standing in attendance. “He rolled the exercise ball into the middle of the floor with a sense of purpose, and sat on it, but then he just stared into the distance for a while. He kind of snapped out of it, and bounced once, but he seemed to lose steam again. He sighed heavily a few times, and then slid right off.”
After laying there for a good 15 minutes, Kim picked himself up, and staggered into the movie room, where he watched a series of cooking shows while mindlessly going through a can of Pringles. He was later seen waking up, bleary-eyed, from a nap, surrounded by drool and potato chip crumbs.
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